WalMart Edward
by loch.nessie.monster
Summary: The Cullens are poor...and Edward has to dress in Wal-Mart clothes now. Why, and what happens?


**Ok. I'm addicted to reviews now- but I'm not going to demand reviews, because people don't really appreciate a review addict demanding reviews. This is set after Twilight and before New Moon...**

**Disclaimer: I want to be Stephenie Meyer. Unfortunately, I am not, so all I am doing here is borrowing her characters for a little bit of mixing up...**

**Wal-Mart Edward**

He stood in front of me, staring at me, not in a normal way, but in such a way that it told me something was up.

Ha. As if the fact that he was wearing a Wal-Mart shirt and pants didn't already give me some indication as to what was wrong.

I questioned the beautiful, golden-eyed boy before me.

'Edward, what's wrong?'

Edward smiled wryly. 'Look.' He gestured to his Sk8er Boy t-shirt. 'What does this tell you?'

I snorted- I wasn't that unobservant... 'I _know_, Edward...I saw _that_. But _why_?'

His gaze locked onto mine. 'Carlisle's hospital got an extremely reduced budget. As a result, he gets a 90 lower income.'

Wow. That was a lot of money. But they still had a large amount of money, and profitable shares...

'But don't you have shares _and_ a lot of money in the bank?' Money wasn't a topic we talked about often. This was an interesting turn.

'Yes, we did. Until Rosalie decided to splurge on a new wardrobe, which consequently got destroyed when she decided to play with her food while hunting.' He grimaced.

'But I thought only Emmett played with his food...' I remembered.

'Not anymore. Rosalie and Emmett went hunting together, and Rosalie decided that playing with her food was a fun idea.'

I pondered something else for a second. 'And, shouldn't Alice have seen if this would happen?'

Edward's face was careful as he replied. 'She was...distracted. Alice wasn't watching out for our financial future- she was focusing mainly on _your_ future. Every scrape you'd get, every bruise you'd get, she'd see. Oh, and did you cut your arm?'

He took my left arm and inspected it. He sighed. I looked at the arm he held aloft, and unbeknownst to me before, there was a red line, five centimetres long, across my arm.

A red drop of blood oozed out of the cut. Edward stiffened slightly, not breathing.

I immediately caught the scent of my blood. I started to feel nauseous, so I distracted myself.

'So...do you still live in your house?' I grabbed a Band-Aid from the cabinet and stuck it on my arm. Much better. Edward relaxed.

'Aah...no. We live in an apartment now.' Edward was gazing away now, staring beyond me.

'What happened to the rest of your money?'

'We got scammed.' His voice was hushed now, barely perceptible. He continued before I could screech a reply. 'Or something of the sort. The money in all our accounts, offshore and otherwise, suddenly disappeared, and... ' He was frowning now. Then he looked at me.

'You don't mind, do you?' His voice was worried.

I didn't get it- _his _family were almost- well- _beggars_, now. And he worried that I would be inconvenienced because of it? He was so _selfless_. He needed to be more _selfish._ And I needed to be more selfless. I was such a cruel person.

'Edward. _Why _would _I_ care? I have _you_, and whether you are wearing Wal-Mart clothes, Armani suits or caveman furs, I will love you. I don't _care_ how much money you have or not,' I replied, wrapping my arms around him. I buried my face in his chest, and then I looked back up at his face. He smiled at me, crookedly.

Then I forgot what I was going on about. I proceeded to again bury my face in Edward's perfect, marble chest, and then 'Sk8r Boy' reminded me of what I was talking about.

'Can we go to your hou- apartment, now?' It was a lot to take in...Edward the beggar. I giggled at the thought.

Edward stared at me in confusion. Then abruptly, his expression shifted back to its dazzling composure, and he answered. 'Sorry...can we use your truck? We only have a Corolla, now.'

'A _what_?' My lack of automobile knowledge let me down now.

He replied flawlessly. 'A _Toyota_.' Oh...a Toyota. Not that I cared.

'What happened to your other cars?' I was suspicious now. Could the Cullens, with their abundance of money, really lose all their assets, so quickly? And how could Carlisle receive 90 less income?

Huh. It didn't make sense...

'Someone wrote massive debts in our name. We had to sell the cars.' Oh...ok. Someone must really have it in for the Cullens.

'Why couldn't you do anything about it? Like, couldn't you take them to court or something...'

'It's not the sort of debt you can...argue in court.' He was whispering, again. Wow...this person who had it in for the Cullens was also _really_ smart. What had the Cullens done to deserve this?

I grabbed his hand, distracting both of us. 'Let's go to your apartment.'

His cool breath and golden gaze dazzled me...and stopped me from breathing. Remembering I needed to breathe, I took in a lungful of air.

'Good, Bella. Breathe,' he whispered in my ear. 'I'm driving to my apartment, by the way.'

I groaned. At least my truck had a speed restriction on it. 'Do you have to?'

He once again turned a scorching gaze on me, melting my defence. He was so _beautiful..._

'Can I drive to my apartment, Bella?' he asked me, sweet golden tones colouring his voice even more than before.

'Fine,' I responded, before realising what I'd just said. It wasn't fair. I didn't have a golden voice, a perfect face, a sweet smell or stunning beauty to make Edward do what I want.

_Selfish, Bella,_ my brain told me.

I walked with Edward out to my truck. He slid in the driver's seat before I could even reach out for the handle.

'Passenger's seat, Bella,' he requested. I complied, but not without a helpless, detached look. Maybe that was the key to his undoing...

'Nice try,' he smirked.

I grumbled incoherently.

'Seatbelt, Bella,' he demanded. I reluctantly clicked the seatbelt into place, and then, with a sigh, stared at the wheel that was forbidden from my control.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

We pulled up in front of a block of dirty apartment blocks. Edward effortlessly pulled me out of my truck, then, ignoring my grumbling protests, carried me up tightly winding stairs. Many levels were ignored, many doors bypassed. I was beginning to wonder whether Edward and his family now had to live on the roof. Seeing the craziness of this thought, I giggled.

Edward eyed me. 'Bella? What's so funny?'

I answered truthfully- Edward was cheating again, his golden eyes boring, melting into mine. 'Do you live on the roof or what?'

He threw me a teasingly dirty look. 'I, no, _we_ would bring planes down. Of course we're not living on the roof, Bella.' A shaft of light shone through the windows we passed, and Edward's skin glittered faintly. He wasn't joking about bringing planes down, that was for sure.

'Why are you carrying me...' I wondered, changing the subject.

Edward sighed. 'Well...you can't walk across a flat surface without falling over, so...stairs would be quite challenging, wouldn't it?' He looked straight up as he spoke.

I ignored what he just said, instead only listening to the sound of his voice. His velvety voice held a thousand, no, a _million fold_ more attraction for me than Mike Newton's voice ever would.

Soon enough, Edward swept me gracefully into a dimly lit room, and I gazed around Edward's new residence in wonder.

A single room, with a low ceiling, was where I stood now. An old, dirty sofa lay in the middle of the room, and four vampires were sitting on it. Two vampires, Alice and Jasper, were shoving, trying to push the others off to get a seat.

Alice's face brightened as she saw Edward and me. 'Hi, Bella!'

'Alice...what are you doing?' I was confused. As I turned to look around the room, I noticed a single, lonely shower in one of the corners of the room. Next to it was a single door that opened up onto a balcony, which opened up to a garbage tip. I wrinkled my nose. Smelly.

'Yes- it smells bad, huh?' Alice chimed. 'Well, it doesn't matter. I still have my make-up and brushes!'

I panicked; I knew what this meant. Guinea Pig Barbie.

Half an hour later, despite my frenzied attempts at getting away from Alice, I was sitting on the sofa, Alice standing behind me and brushing my hair.

'Alice! Stop it!' I was deeply irritated.

'Bella, I have no human memories, not a single snip of my previous life. Let me have my fun.'

I grumbled inwardly while Alice attacked me with brushes for the rest of the afternoon.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

'Bella, you look extremely appetizing now,' Edward remarked in the car.

Alice had put my hair into braids, threading ribbons in between the intertwined locks of hair.

'I thought I always was-?' I wondered, miffed.

'Yes, you are...and having Alice do your hair didn't help in the slightest. Actually, you should plait your hair more,' he announced, as he started up my truck's engine.

'Not you, too,' I groaned. He smirked, and then proceeded to run his fingers- his cold, icy fingers- through my hair.

As we arrived back at my house, I noticed that Charlie was home- early.

'Hello, Charlie,' Edward greeted Charlie as we walked in the door.

I saw Charlie take note of the Wal-Mart clothes.

'Hi, kids,' he replied. Trying to show he held no grudge. Nice try; Edward can hear you.

'Why are you home early?' I wondered. Edward, by my side, shook with invisible, hidden laughter.

Charlie paused a little before answering. 'I got fired.' He looked straight ahead, refusing to show any emotion. And _why_ was Edward laughing?

'Oh, Dad, I'm so sorry!' I began, worried. 'What are you going to do now? Do we have enough money?'

His voice was gruff as he answered. 'We'll be fine, Bells. For a few months, anyway.'

Everyone was having money troubles now. Weird. Maybe there was something I was missing out on.

At least I still had my job.

To my alarm, Charlie suddenly turned to me, a great big grin on his face. A big, smug grin. I was scared now. This was not my father. This was a scary, different Charlie.

'April Fools, Bella!'

And with that, in front of my shocked face, Charlie and Wal-Mart boy rolled around, laughing their heads off in front of me. Figuratively, of course.

'Gah,' I gasped.

Edward pulled himself together, and stood up, an amused smile playing across his lips. We watched, together, as my father rolled around on the floor.

'Wow,' I said, slightly embarrassed. Edward smirked at me.

'Let's go upstairs,' he suggested.

'Ok,' I replied, breathless. I felt so _gullible_.

'Silly, gullible Bella,' Edward chuckled, his golden voice ringing in my ears. 'Did you _honestly_ believe Charlie?'

Blood rushed into my cheeks once again. 'Yes.'

He laughed again, a sweet tone. I should record it and play it every time I wasn't with him, I decided.

'Edward...' I murmured.

He was instantly calm. 'Yes, Bella?'

'Do you honestly live in an apartment next to a rubbish dump? Did you really get scammed?'

'Of course, Bella. Why won't you believe me?' He frowned at the ceiling. I was suspicious- more than before. I deliberated with myself about whether I should go to the Cullen mansion. I needed evidence.

'Edward- I want to go somewhere.'

He was suspicious. 'Where?'

'You'll see. It's a surprise.' I dashed out of the room and to my truck.

I swear I saw him smile.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

He was quite wary of where we were going. 'Bella. Are you going to my house?' A slip. He'd made a mistake.

I raised my eyebrows. 'I thought you sold it.'

'I meant that.' His expression was innocent.

I turned into the strip of land that led to the mansion. 'Yes.'

'There's nothing to see, Bella. Why are you going here?' He was curious. Or so it seemed.

'Just...wanted to see it,' I said, absentmindedly. Edward raised his perfect eyebrows.

Once we got there, I knew the answer to my question. The lights were bright, and the sound of a bickering family came from within. The Cullen mansion had not been sold.

I turned to Wal-Mart boy, and glared. It was hard to keep up the glaring, because he was smiling angelically back at me.

'April Fools, Bella,' he chuckled. He strode forward, and took me in his arms. He kissed my hair, while I took in his scent. Was it really April Fool's Day?

Alice came striding gracefully out of the house. She smirked at me. 'Gullible, Bella.'

I frowned. All the Cullens had obviously been in on this. 'Not funny.'

At that moment, Emmett bounded out. He roared with laughter at my perplexed expression.

I decided to distract them. 'Edward, why did Alice let you get those clothes?'

Alice frowned. 'You're right, Bella. Edward, Wal-Mart has better clothes than that. You should have let me come.'

I smirked at Edward this time. 'See, Edward? You should get better clothes than that. You can afford a mansion' –glare- 'so why not good clothes?'

He scowled at me, evidence of a destroying angel apparent in his face. He went back to mussing my hair. 'April Fools, Bella,' he murmured softly in my ear.

I felt around in his pants until I found what I wanted.

I looked at the phone screen, with Alice and Emmett watching my back curiously.

'1st of April,' I mumbled.

And the other vampires laughed at my folly.

**Yay! I finished it! I hope you like it. Review, please -points to review button-. Until next time... loch.nessie.monster**


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